


Hazbin S.C.P.

by AnonymousWritefag



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-22 11:29:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16597031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymousWritefag/pseuds/AnonymousWritefag
Summary: As per request of anonymous user





	1. Chapter 1

The following is an assortment of documents and recorded dialogues dedicated to the research and assessment of SCP-105. If you find yourself in possession of said documents and are not an authorized personnel of the Object Interactions branch, please contact your local administrator. As documents heavily involve an important staff member of Object Interactions, his identity will be kept Anonymous, for his safety.  
SCP-105  
Object Class?: Euclid  
Animate?: Yes  
Harmful?: TBD

[Day 1 Recording]

Anonymous: You're sure this is a good idea?  
OI Administrator: Of course. 105's label as Euclid class is only a formality. If anything, it's demonstrated to be aggressively...friendly.  
Anonymous:...Huh.  
OI Administrator: That being said, it appears to be entirely sentient. Just try not to piss it off.  
Anonymous: Will do.  
Intercom: SCP-105 containment cell door opening. Please stand by.  
SCP-105: Hello!  
Anonymous: Are you aware of the situation you find yourself? Its connotations?  
SCP-105: I think so?  
Anonymous: Do you usually offer a handshake to people you meet in an armed facility?  
SCP-105: It's the polite thing to do.  
Anonymous: I see.  
Anonymous: Can you identify yourself?  
SCP-105: You can call me Charlie!  
Anonymous:...Charlie.  
SCP-105: Yes! You-  
Anonymous: I was expecting something more formal.  
SCP-105: What do you mean?  
Anonymous: Well, witnesses to your local activities would most likely grant you a title. "Grim reaper", for example.  
SCP-105: Oh, no, I'm not him. That's a friend of my father's.  
Anonymous: Really, now?  
SCP-105: I don't know how you could get us confused!  
Anonymous: Well, Ms. Charlie, we seem to have made that mix-up after sightings reported seeing you near an abandoned house somehwere in South America, apparently the residence of a Santiago Estevez, who had committed suicide.  
SCP-105: Oh, yes. Very tragic.  
Anonymous: You are aware that Santiago was responsible for the murder of four others?  
SCP-105: He was in a dark place for a long time. I wanted to help him on his way.  
Anonymous: You coaxed him into suicide?  
SCP-105: No, no! I meant help him afterwards.  
Anonymous: Afterwards?  
SCP-105: When he crossed over.  
Anonymous: Charlie, I must ask you to refrain from making jokes during our talks.  
SCP-105: Have I offended you? I'm sorry.  
Anonymous: And, regarding the circumstances of these sightings and your induction into the SCP project, I must say...  
Anonymous: I'm told you had been very agreeable with the SCP personnel that arrived on the scene.  
SCP-105: I knew there was nothing to be worried about.  
Anonymous: Is that right?  
SCP-105: The big helmets they all wore, like yours, made their voices sound like a friend of mine.  
Anonymous: Are you capable of killing anyone in this facility?  
SCP-105: What?  
Anonymous: Are you capable of killing everyone in this facility?  
SCP-105: I...  
Anonymous: Look into my eyes and answer the question.  
SCP-105: I...I would never hurt anyone.  
Anonymous: Why are you here?  
SCP-105: I want to help people better themselves.  
Anonymous: You believed in Santiago?  
SCP-105: I believe in Santiago.  
Anonymous: I see.  
SCP-105: And, not to be rude, but I really shouldn't be gone too long. Will this be much longer?  
Anonymous: I'm afraid we must ask you to remain here.  
SCP-105: But...  
Anonymous: That is, unless you are willing to introduce us to any of your...friends.  
SCP-105: Well...I think I could arrange that.  
Anonymous: That will be all for now.  
Intercom: SCP-105 containment door opening. Please standby.  
Anonymous: She's insane. Delirious, even. And that clown make-up gives me the creeps. I better be getting paid well for this.


	2. Chapter 2

[Day 2 Recording]

OI Administrator: It seems SCP-105 is more cooperative than we would've imagined.  
Anonymous: That still doesn't tell us where it and its ilk are coming from, and whether we can trust them.  
OI Administrator: Well, that's your job, isn't it?  
Anonymous: Har, har.  
OI Administrator: In any case, you should be told that SCP-105-1 seems to be much less cooperative than its predecessor.  
Anonymous: Dangerous?  
OI Administrator: To be determined.  
Anonymous: Right, right.  
OI Administrator: Also, he's got quite the mouth on him.  
Anonymous: Yeah, well. Don't we all.  
Intercom: SCP-105 containment cell door opening. Please standby.  
SCP-105-1: I was told I was brought here for a friendly chat.  
Anonymous: That is correct.  
SCP-105-1: Then what's with the bulky helmet? Hard to talk to someone when you can't look them in the eye.  
Anonymous: My people just had a hunch to take precautions with you.  
SCP-105-1: Really? Wow, that's...flattering.  
Anonymous: "Flattering."  
SCP-105-1: Did she say anything about me? Like, I don't know...did she warn you or something?  
Anonymous: We've been told you have a very unique sense of humor.  
SCP-105-1: Yeah, that's one way to put it.  
Anonymous: I must tell you that the people who manage this facility don't take kindly to jokes. Particularly those of the dangerous kind.   
SCP-105-1: Ooooo, alrighty then. Nice and professional, got it.  
Anonymous: May we have-  
SCP-105-1: No, no! Don't worry. I'm good and scared, now.  
Anonymous: I-  
SCP-105-1: I won't do anything! I'll smile and wave like a good boy.  
Anonymous: Look. I would like to have a proper introduction.  
SCP-105-1: Charlie said you think handshakes are weird.  
Anonymous: No, I don't believe there is anything wrong with them.   
SCP-105-1: I know some good ways to get personally introduced, you know.  
Anonymous: Let's start with a name.  
SCP-105-1: ...Scarface.  
Anonymous: I told you we don't appreciate jokes.  
SCP-105-1: That was a suggestion.  
Anonymous: Fine, "Scarface."  
SCP-105-1: Hehe.  
Anonymous: My name is [REDACTED].  
SCP-105-1: Pfft! That's fuckin' stupid. Hit your mom for me. Actually, for your own sake.  
Anonymous: I will not do that.  
SCP-105-1: Kind of ruins the whole "menacing masked dude" shtick, knowing that.  
Anonymous: What is your association with "Charlie"?  
SCP-105-1: Trying to change the subject, [REDACTED]?  
Anonymous: This will take all day if you make it, Scarface.  
SCP-105-1: Okay, fine. I'm, how do you say, a benefactor of hers.  
Anonymous: Go on.  
SCP-105-1: I do bad things, and she gives me a roof over my head and food on a plate.  
Anonymous: ...Bad things?  
SCP-105-1: You didn't hear it from me.  
Anonymous: Charlie didn't seem the type that would associate with that kind of business.  
SCP-105-1: Yeah, I don't get it either. Like, what she does, it has to be a joke, right? No one in their right mind would actually think it would work.  
Anonymous: What does she do?  
SCP-105-1: She takes care of...well, wrong-doers. Tryin' to rehabilitate them, I guess.  
Anonymous: And you don't think she can.  
SCP-105-1: Yeah, well, I'll just see how far it goes. If it crashes and burns, I'll have made kit in the meantime.  
Anonymous: So that's why you're her "benefactor".  
SCP-105-1: Something tells me you're trying to make yourself that, too.  
Anonymous: We just want to ensure her business won't cause any serious trouble.  
SCP-105-1: No "jokes", then?  
Anonymous: Right.  
SCP-105-1: Well, sorry buddy, but she's a pretty big joke from where I'm from.  
Anonymous: And where would that be?  
SCP-105-1: Whoa, whoa, trying to figure out where I live?  
Anonymous: It was a fair question to ask.  
SCP-105-1: Hey, pal, if you want to get more information out of me, there are other ways.  
Anonymous: No, that won't be necessary.  
SCP-105-1: Hey, come on. It doesn't have to be in front of these cameras.  
Anonymous: We're done here.  
SCP-105-1: Hey, hey hey hey, come on! You can't be fucking-you're seriously just going to waste my time like this?! What was the point of being all big and mysterious if you're just gonna blue-ball me like some kind of fucking-  
Intercom: SCP-105 containment cell door opening. Please standby.  
Anonymous: I think we're on to something, here.


End file.
